When things have gotten really crappy for me, and that seems to be a frequently re-ocurring experience, I like to remind myself of two “truths.”  The first is that “the past does not equal the future.”  I have Big Tony to thank for that one.  The other is that “now is not forever.”  I came up with that zinger myself.  It seems that when things do get bad, we have a tendency to slip into patterns of thought that are the direct opposite of my “truths.”  I put “truth” in quotes because it doesn’t matter if either of those statements is actually true or false.  What matters is that they both can serve to help me out of the hole.  Thinking that the past always repeats and that things will never change will only keep me stuck deep down in there.  And believe me when I say that there are plenty who will happily help by picking up a shovel and throwing some dirt in.  Why is it that when you are down some folks relish in keeping you that way?  I guess because it makes them feel better about themselves to be able to look down upon you.  My last post was a lament about how horrible this month of July has been for me.  So far it hasn’t gotten any better, until today.  Today’s post is my attempt to begin climbing out of the hole I fell in around July 4th by reminding myself of those two truths.  Already the vultures are circling.  Will this be the one that does old Scott in, finally. they are asking themselves?  No it won’t.  Because you see, I may be pretty good at getting myself down into those holes.  It is the result of being someone who doesn’t commit lightly and who is not afraid of risk.  But I am also someone who clings to those two positive thinking truths that will either pull me out, or provide a shovel and a light for me to keep digging deeper until I strike gold.

Things people do sometimes really piss me off, you know? I can remember certain events in history that really got me mad, fighting mad. Events like the Rodney King riots in Los Angeles. When I saw those guys pull the man from the truck and smash a brick against his head, I wanted to kill those MFs. When I saw video clips of that plane smashing into the World Trade Center, I had the same visceral reaction. I picked up a book this morning by the religious writer and author, Charles Swindoll. I began to read it and quickly realized it must have been written around the time of September 11th, because Swindoll immediately launched into a tirade against those who perpetrated the act, saying that no hell is hot enough for them to burn in. But these days it seems I have learned, or I am learning, to see things from a different perspective. I guess living in a foreign country does that to you. You see, folks here in Costa Rica, while they are fairly fond of the U.S., don’t really see things the same way. For other countries and peoples, the U.S. is not the one country on this earth blessed by God and vaulted to a position of world preeminence. The fact that the U.S. has the weight of the proverbial 800 pound gorilla to throw around isn’t regarded by folks here as a redeeming quality. There are no excuses for brutal and senseless acts of violence like the two mentioned above. The direct perpetrators should be punished, no questions asked. But it is a worthwhile endeavor to try to understand the perspectives that motivated the acts, rather than just adopting the attitude that their’s (perspective, that is) is wrong and our’s is right. When the event of September 11th occurred I was on the big island of Hawaii attending an event by motivational speaker and author, Anthony Robbins. Robbins’ reaction to the event is something I will never forget. Robbins changed the format that day and instead opened up a forum where participants could express their feelings. A Jewish man from New York expressed his outrage and condemned the Muslim faith for condoning violence. A Muslim from Pakistan expressed his understanding for the feelings that would drive young Muslims to engage in such a homicidal suicide mission. Robbins proceeded to have both men come to the stage and for the next several hours took them on a journey of “out-of-self-discovery.” As only Robbins can do, he coaxed and cajoled each man into stepping into the other’s shoes. By the end both adopted a much better understanding of the other’s perpective. It seems to me that so much violence and mayhem takes place in the world due to our refusal to look at things from any other viewpoint than our own. This is especially true when it comes to either religious or political viewpoints. Instead we get stuck in this we’re right and they’re wrong sort of thinking that provides an excuse for us to try to force our way of thinking on them. It never works and usually the results of this effort are disastrous. I believe a better way is just to accept that the world is a complex and diverse place. It is simply illogical to think that any one part of it is blessed and ordained by God and the rest condemned. God created all of it. I believe if we can learn to at least try, as hard as it might be, to stand in someone else’s shoes and see things from their perspective, even though it is dramatically different from our own, we can understand them (and they us) and thus find a way to peacefully co-exist. And maybe, just maybe, the process of doing so will help us become a bit more ”perspicacious.”

Several years ago, I believe it was early 2001, I attended a seminar by the master of motivation, Anthony Robbins. The seminar was called “Date with Destiny.” I have to admit it was a very impactful experience and in many ways marked a change in the course of my life that continues to this day. The one thing that had the strongest lasting impact was my development of a “statement of purpose” for my life. It was supposed to be a constitution of sorts that would guide all my life’s goals. In the same way that the Congress can never make laws that contravene the constitution, I could never set goals that would take me in a different direction than what my life’s purpose demanded. Since that time I have set and re-set goals for my life many times over. However, I have never changed that statement and it remains a guiding force in my life. I have always kept it in a very personal place and have been reluctant to divulge its contents to anyone other than those that have my complete trust. After all it is important to me and I don’t desire to subject it to criticism or ridicule…..it is my personal statement developed at a time when I was highly emotionally charged to write it to have profound meaning for me. However, since I have divulged so much information in this blog, which in many ways has served as a catharsis for me, I will take the bold step of presenting it here in this post. So here goes…..the purpose of my life is to be a vessel overflowing with abundant life and to pour it out so that others might be fulfilled. In the past couple years I began to look at that statement and question exactly what I meant by “abundant life.” Was it life in some religious sense, or in the secular realm, or a combination of both? So I came up with the following statement of what the term “abundant life” means to me. Abundant life is a life constrained only by a sincere desire to be and to do good and to have a positive influence on this world. These statements are meant to form a signal, or road sign if you will, that constantly directs me towards a pre-determined course. The overriding goal is to finally reach the end of that course (and we all know what that means….cuz we’re all going to reach that end some day) and be able to look back and say, yea, even though there were many detours along the way, I did stay consistent with that general direction. I am proud that my statement is not all about me. Because our lives should not be all about us. There is a world out there that we were put here to have an influence on. And as Robbins often says, that influence can either be as an example, or as a warning. I guess it could also be a little bit of both, as mine certainly has been. At the age of 48 and considering that longevity fortunately has “run in the family,” I am a little more than half-way through the journey. The post of a few days ago (Mired in Mediocrity) may have given the signal that I am woefully dissatisfied with my life. Matías, one of my employees here at Package Costa Rica, read that post and commented that he thought I was being way too hard on myself. I guess he’s right. The idea that my life is at this point “mediocre” had much to do with feelings about materiality. That “materially” I am not where I would like to be. But my purpose statement really has nothing at all to do with material, now does it? I could die completely destitute and still have fulfilled it. In fact, the whole idea that “he who dies with the most toys wins” is completely contrary to my statement of purpose. It is more about giving than taking. So I guess I will “take” back what I said in that post about my life being “mired in mediocrity.” It was just me throwing a little personal pity party. There are so many non-material things that I have right now that I should be thankful for. I am also grateful to have a statement of purpose that inspires me in good times, as well as those not so “good.” What’s your purpose? Do you know? Shouldn’t you know?

I remember some self-help guru (I believe it was Tony Robbins) said that it really doesn’t matter if your beliefs are true or not, as long as they are useful. While that seems to be a cold and slightly cynical statement, it does have a tinge of truth. We all hold certain beliefs about life. Where do they come from? From our experiences, traditions, parents, culture, etc. If you grow up in a Christian home, you are bound to have at least the inclination to adopt those same beliefs. Whereas if you grow up in, say, a Muslim home, you will adopt those beliefs. Does that make one right and the other wrong? No, because the truth is that no matter what you “believe,” you cannot prove empirically that an opposing or different belief is wrong or untrue. Believing is different than knowing. I know the sun will rise in the morning and set in the evening. I don’t “believe” it to be true. Beliefs are based on faith and the stronger that faith, the stronger the belief. They are not all centered on religion. You can have beliefs about many things….politics, business, personal development, and so on. In the previous 173 posts I have provided a smattering of my own beliefs. I know that they probably seem to be “uncentered” and “disorganized.” Some liberal, others conservative. Some religious, others secular. But you see one thing I don’t believe in is “labels.” I am not going to organize my beliefs in such a way that folks would label me conservative or liberal, religious or secular, right-wing or left-wing. I believe we get far too concerned that our beliefs have to be consistent with a given ideology. That is never a good thing. Why? Because it limits what you allow yourself to believe in. Beliefs are in a sense our search for the truth. There was a time when believing that the earth was anything but flat would get you labeled a heretic and maybe even executed. Now believing anything but the conservative or fundamentalist Christian line may not get you executed, but it will get you “exiled” from membership in the “club.” So we disallow ourselves from believing anything outside of the confines of that ideology. I submit that that cannot be a good thing. Because when beliefs are bolstered by community….that is when what you believe is shared by all those you associate with….then you run the risk of becoming someone who thinks he or she knows the truth. And once you begin to think that your belief is absolute, empirical truth, it means that what everyone else believes is a lie (in short, heresy).  And that naturally leads to the idea that other “untrue” beliefs should be suppressed, quelled, vanquished. But I “believe” that the human race’s search for truth is never served by suppression. If it weren’t for the brave-hearted who dared to believe differently, in the face of the threat of condemnation or expulsion by the community of shared beliefs, then we would still think the world is flat. In short, we would never know real truth. That’s my belief and I am sticking to it.

For many years I couldn’t get enough of the “self-help” stuff by writers and speakers such as Tony Robbins, Zig Ziglar, Stephen Covey, Jack Canfield and so on. I still enjoy that stuff and there is some really helpful advice contained in it. However, for years my focus, often based on their advice, was on succeeding so I could have more….a nicer car, more expensive clothes, a bigger house, vacations to anywhere I wanted, etc. There was always that little glimmer of encouragement to “be more” rather than just to “have more” as exemplified by Zig’s famous saying….”you can have everything in life you want, if you just help enough other people get what they want.” But even in that laudable phrase, there is the underlying motivation of “having more.” Yesterday I wrote a very radical post about “revolution.” And for any CIA operatives out there you can relax because I am not advocating a communist takeover of Costa Rica. What I am advocating is a major shift in paradigm. Mine occurred gradually as I was exposed to a new way of living here in Costa Rica….a way of living much less focused on material things. Of course the average per capita income of a household in the U.S. is more than twice that of Costa Rica and that difference is much more pronounced if you are talking about the “campesinos,” or country-folk. So obviously there is going to be less consumption of material things in a country like Costa Rica as compared to the U.S. However, what you learn is that even though folks here have less, they aren’t any less happy and I would venture to say even more so. This got me to thinking that maybe happiness is not found in things. The fellow I wrote about yesterday, Che Guevara, was a decided non-materialist. He shunned most material comforts (well, there were exceptions) and when he was head of the central bank in Cuba he signed Cuban banknotes with his nickname “Che” as a testament to his disdain for money and material wealth. I am not saying that we should adopt a Che Guevara mindset and live like campesinos…..weeeeel maybe I am a little. In Costa Rica campesinos live pretty well. For the most part they have decent homes, but without many of the luxuries that are taken for granted in the U.S. In fact, if I ever am so fortunate as to build my “dream home” in the Costa Rican mountains with a view to the ocean, I will certainly build a typical campesino home. They enjoy simple pleasures and live a simple life. They care for and respect the land and find great joy in the natural beauty of Costa Rica. In short, they get along just fine without the vulgar material wealth that many folks in the U.S. consider their birthright. I may be at risk of sounding like a broken record in my frequent rants about the evils of U.S.-style materialism, but my observations have led me to draw the conclusion that it is materialism that is at the heart of many of the problems the folks are facing in the U.S. and other parts of the world that are trying hard to catch up. The world simply cannot sustain it. If you have countries like China and India consuming at the same rate as the U.S. the planet is in big trouble. So what I am advocating is a major paradigm shift. One that takes us away from the idea that happiness can only be measured by how big a house (or houses) we live in. One that awakens a desire to give back rather than take and yes it can start by changing your own personal goals. By changing our goals in life from having more to being more….that is, making choices that make a difference. I am not saying in the least bit to stop striving to succeed. I believe we should maximize to the fullest extent our ability to earn an income, but it is what we then do with that income that makes the difference. Do we invest it in stuff that only provides personal comfort for ourselves, or in creating a better world. For instance, investing in a wind turbine to supply some of the electrical needs of your home may be a better idea than that swimming pool. If the kids want to swim, take the family for a nature hike to that nearby creek or “swimming hole” (hopefully non-polluted) and enjoy both the water and the natural surroundings. Take advantage of the opportunity to teach the kids the importance of keeping nature clean and beautiful. This is the paradigm shift I am advocating, just in case someone out there got the wrong idea. These days folks in the U.S. are being forced to get by with less as the result of the economy and they are screaming about it. But maybe, just maybe, it was the best thing that could have happened. Stop screaming and begin to realize that life is not about luxury, but about learning…..learning what each of us can do to create a better world.